When the shower water left in your hair freezes on the way from Hillenbrand to Earhart, you know it’s too cold outside.
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Whipple Sermon Jam
Posted
Wednesday, January 20th, at
5:56 PM (∞).
2:47—”So, part of the Gospel of Jesus for me is—the good news is that we’re not alone.”
I was with you till there, Shane. Jesus didn’t die so that people could live together.
5:27—Brennan Manning actually said: ”The greatest single cause of atheism in the world today is Christians who acknowledge Jesus with their lips and walk out the door and deny Him by their lifestyle. That is what an unbelieving world simply finds unbelievable.”
5:48—I hope you weren’t implying that Hitler and the members of the KKK were Christians.
Stop acting like the Bible is all about social justice!
New Barna Study: Overused Typeface Gains Foothold in U.S. Churches
Revealing further evidence that American churches are sinking deeper into apostasy, a new nationwide survey by The Barna Group discovered that almost 23% of U.S. churches are now using Papyrus typeface in their logos and church bulletins.
According to Barna’s polling data acquired by a random sampling of churches around the country: 57% of American churches continue to use the traditional Times Roman typeface, while 23% have succumbed to Papyrus, 15% have abandoned written language altogether and only communicate with YouTube videos, and the remaining 5% use Old English font because “that’s what King James used.”
“I think it’s safe to say that the Apocalypse is very, very near,” said Bob Vincent, spokesman for The Barna Group. “We thought things were bad when our past research showed that a large number of professing Christians didn’t believe in Jesus, but this insidious Papyrus lettering fad is clearly a sign of the end times.”
Created in 1982 by Chris Costello, Papyrus is a typeface that “merges traditional roman letterform with the look of hand-crafted antique calligraphy” to produce an universally-abhorred font that lazy, amateur logo designers use almost daily to torture the public. It is commonly overused by restaurants, health and lifestyle companies, beauty spas, and New Age organizations.
Earlier this summer, Living Word Community Church found itself on the verge of a nasty church split because of the dreaded typeface. When LWCC leadership unveiled the church’s new logo on the jumbo-tron during a 9:30 worship/celebration service in August, audible gasps of horror were heard throughout the congregation as people immediately recognized the Papyrus font. Thankfully, Sunday school teacher Shelley Ladou was able to shield the children’s eyes and quickly return them to the classroom before they were exposed to the offensive lettering.
“Papyrus font?” lamented Betty Teagarden, a church member of LWCC for over ten years. “It took them three months and one thousand dollars to come up with a logo using Papyrus? Good grief, they might as well use Comic Sans MS and send us all straight to hell.”
Though most in the congregation learned to live with the new logo, Betty Teagarden and eleven other members eventually left Living Word to find a new church fellowship that “still believes in Helvetica.”
Surprisingly, The Barna Group holds out hope that there is still time for an eventual backlash to squelch the popularity of Papyrus before it’s too late. “Our latest research seems to indicate that congregations get bored easily and will soon be looking for the next popular typeface to come along that they can embrace,” explained Vincent. “In fact, we’ve seen evidence that Hobo may be making a huge comeback. May God helps us all.”
“Andrew, you need to take a picture of tech support.”
Log—Nov 17, 2009
7:45—I wake up for my 8:30 chem lecture. It’s raining outside. Muhammed gets in the shower at the time that I have for the past 7 weeks or so every Tuesday thru Thursday. Why then and not 3:30 AM like normal? I dunno.
7:55—Muhammed gets out of the shower. I walk into the bathroom. There’s about 2 litres of water on the floor and rug. I shower.
8:10—I get out of the shower, get my backpack ready and go outside.
8:12—I wait for the bus in front of the dorm.
8:15—I get tired of waiting for the bus in the rain. I don’t enjoy biking in the rain, but I go over to the bike racks to get mine anyway. It’s not there. Oh, it wasn’t there yesterday either. Why’s that? I dunno.
8:16—Oh. It’s at Stewart where I left it on Friday night. That’s inconvenient.
8:17—I go back to waiting for the bus.
8:22—The bus isn’t here. I see a lot of busses going between Shreve and Hillenbrand. I’ll go over there.
8:25—Waiting.
8:30—Waiting.
8:40—Waiting.
8:50—There it is.
8:52—Take off.
8:56—The bus gets to University and 3rd, I get off and walk to Wetherhill.
9:00—I get inside.
9:01—I get to the lecture room.
9:16—The lecture’s done. I go over to Stewart to get my bike. It’s there! I ride to Wiley for breakfast.
9:40—Done with breakfast, I go to the dorm.
17:35—I go to the Bio help session at CL50 and stop to get some chocolate along the way at Boiler Crossing.
18:55—I go to the Chem help session at the nursing building(???).
19:05—I have no clue what they’re talking about. Is this on the exam?
19:15—I’m not learning very much here, I’m going to get some dinner, and read the Chem book.
19:30—I’m going down the hill at Elliott. It’s a green light. There’s a car coming and turning left, I wonder if it sees me. He’s giving no sign of it, I should break, as I’m probably going to die if I don’t.
19:31—I break pretty fast, though not to much to fall over or cause problems.
19:31—I fall over and cause problems. I lose most of my speed by putting my hands on the road. It’s a good thing I’m wearing gloves. My elbow hits the ground. Oh, my right pant-leg is ripped.
19:31—Hm. Is my bike bent? I pick it up and get to the sidewalk.
19:32—No, it’s not bent, but the handlebars are looser than they were and they’re rotated 90°. I move it back and it seems fine.
19:33—Ergh. It’s raining. Not what I was looking for. Umm. I’ll go in the parking garage.
19:34—Okay. What do I do now? Oh, my bike chain’s off the gears. I’ll fix that.
19:40—Bike chain’s fixed. My gloves have a bunch of grease on them. Oh. My knee’s bleeding. Hmm. I should take off my gloves. How is there sand inside them?
19:41—Okay, now I know why I keep an extra clean bandanna in my pocket. Tie it on, problem solved.
19:43—Bike test. Everything’s fine. I’m ready to go. I’ll try not to get hit.
19:47—A car passes me way too fast. He’s about to hit the sidewalk. Is he drunk? No, he’s trying to splash the guy walking on the sidewalk using the large amount of water by the curb. The dude gets soaked. That was one of the meanest things I’ve seen in a while.
19:50—I park my bike. My bandage is falling down. Two half hitches fixes it.
19:55—I get up to the room and tell Kevin the story.
20:15—”Hey, I have some triple antibiotic…”
20:17—My knee is sterilized.
20:25—Hm. Do they have a first aid kit at the front desk? Of course they do.
20:30—”Sorry, we’re not allowed to do first aid. We can’t even give out a band-aid.” “It might be toxic!”
20:45—Hm, there’s a rip in my jeans that I didn’t see before by my pocket. I wonder if anything got damaged.
20:50—Yup. How is the outside of the phone intact, but the inside isn’t? That’s weird. My knee hurts.
21:20—Hey, I wasn’t wearing a helmet. Yikes. Why didn’t I hit my head on the road? Ephesians 1:11b.
21:36—I’m hungry.
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This one has all four of ‘em. It didn’t take quite as much effort as James Taylor’s.
